The Udder Mother
Black Milk
I hungered for your voice
to break.
I was zipped up,
half me and
half me. You were the third half.
What has melted us?
I remember
the crackling ice I walked on
with bare feet, impossible
rockets of cold parading up my legs,
the lick of blue sky above and
the ocean of snow.
I’ve lost my frozen lake.
I dance on a summer ground.
It’s like trying to remember numb hands
in the middle of summer.
If I stood in front of your house
and your living room window shades were drawn up,
maybe I’d see you bending low and
cooing,
a smile that
hadn’t been invented til she was born
dancing on your face,
the world outside your window
cold and useless
when everything you need
is bathed in warm yellow light.
If you
tried to burn yourself alive
but were saved
you’d still
have the disfiguration slathered across your face
for the rest of your life.
It’s just like that.
Our spider strings.
Our
shimmering,
gauzy,
tangled,
stretching
web—
Eclipsed.
Clogged soul.
Black milk.
If only it would snow again.